The Coming of Ikea

Now that I've picked up the keys to my rocking new Los Feliz studio, I have to buy some furniture to replace the imaginary furniture I'm sitting on now:

I didn't like the pattern on the imaginary futon, so then
I imagined a new one that goes much better with the imaginary bed.

I spent much of this afternoon wandering around the Ikea in Burbank, looking for the type of hobbit-sized kitchen table that would fit into the space available, and contemplating buying a combination futon/twin bed/foldout double bed, which would be like rooming with a comfy Transformer.

Ultimately, I decided to sleep on the other stuff and just buy one of those easy-to-assemble, fifty dollar bookcases. Struggling unsuccessfully to lift the bookcase, I saw this cartoon:

Fuck those tiny men and their fucking friendship.

This made me deeply sad.

Then on the drive home I stopped at Emerald Knights (where they pre-polybag everything!) and bought a household item that made everything better.

"Allow me to uppercut your sadness, old chum."

When I go back later in the week, I'm bringing reinforcements.